Two weeks ago, I wrote about running on empty and waiting for a calmer season that never seems to come. And here I am, a week late on this post, just trudging along and waiting for a few minutes here and there to just...sit. So, while I'm keeping this committment to myself to continue to post, I was thinking - what can I share this week, that only takes a few minutes, and will actually feel productive for both myself and anyone reading this.
Something I continually share with clients is the practice of grounding. Simply put, this means getting out of our heads and into our bodies. We shift the focus from the to-do's and overthinking swirling around in our brains, and into our five senses. I know it's only November, but this practice is particularly fun as the holidays approach because there are so many beautiful sights, sounds, and smells around us. Without further ado, here is my favorite quick grounding exercise:
The 5-4-3-2-1 Grounding Exercise
Here’s how it works. You’ll use your five senses to name what’s around you, counting down as you go.
5 – Name five things you can see.
The coffee you reheated three times. The Goldfish cracker on the floor. That’s two already. You’re crushing it.
The coffee you reheated three times. The Goldfish cracker on the floor. That’s two already. You’re crushing it.
4 – Name four things you can feel.
Your feet on the floor. Your sweater on your arms. The tiny Lego you just stepped on (counts double).
Your feet on the floor. Your sweater on your arms. The tiny Lego you just stepped on (counts double).
3 – Name three things you can hear.
The dishwasher humming. A cartoon theme song you’ll be singing for the rest of the day. Possibly silence, if you’re very lucky.
The dishwasher humming. A cartoon theme song you’ll be singing for the rest of the day. Possibly silence, if you’re very lucky.
2 – Name two things you can smell.
Hopefully coffee. Possibly something you’d rather not identify. No judgment here.
Hopefully coffee. Possibly something you’d rather not identify. No judgment here.
1 – Name one thing you can taste.
Toothpaste, coffee, or the last bite of your kid’s sandwich you “tested.” We all do it.
Toothpaste, coffee, or the last bite of your kid’s sandwich you “tested.” We all do it.
That’s it. By the time you get to one, your breathing has usually slowed and your brain is just a bit more connected to your body. It won’t make the laundry fold itself, but it can give you just enough calm to handle what’s next.
Try it once today, even when you’re not stressed, so it’s ready when you need it.
And now a quick question to sit with - where can you fit this into your day? Maybe before the morning chaos, maybe right before you lay your head down for the night. Maybe in the school pick up line - wherever suits you best!
That's all for today, folks. All my best as always!
Abby
That's all for today, folks. All my best as always!
Abby
If the run-down feeling starts to look like persistent sadness, anxiety that won't ease, or days that feel impossible to get through, reaching out to a healthcare provider is a good step. Support matters. This content is for educational purposes and should not be taken for psychotherapy or medical advice.
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And yet… this holiday season still knocked the wind out of me.
(Which feels rude, frankly.)
(Which feels rude, frankly.)
Between the school events, the gift lists, the mental math of who-needs-what-when, and the constant background hum of don’t forget this, I found myself feeling oddly disconnected — even while surrounded by the people I love most. That’s when it hit me (again): connection isn’t something we “arrive at.” It’s something we have to intentionally create — especially during busy seasons of motherhood.
And honestly? When I’m not connected, I feel it everywhere.
I’m more irritable. More overwhelmed. Less patient. More likely to snap over a spilled cup instead of laughing it off (or at least attempting to laugh it off before realizing I need a snack and a nap). That feeling — of being physically present but mentally a million places at once — is exactly what led me here.
I’ve been in this space as a therapist for years and never had a blog or a place to voice my education or therapist brain out loud. But with this post, I’m changing that — because this is a topic I’d like to shout from the rooftops (or, more realistically, mention passionately while folding laundry).
I’ve also been toying with the idea of creating a connection workshop — something practical and grounding for moms. At the moment, it exists primarily in my brain, a Notes app, and a half-formed Google Doc… with a very TBD timeline. Still counts.
What I do know is this: I’ve noticed a BIG pattern in both my professional work and my personal life — when connection fades, everything feels harder.
I'm used to helping moms untangle stress, anxiety, and overwhelm every day. But this year’s holiday season brought the concept of connection in motherhood right to the forefront for me — not in theory, but in lived experience. I could see how easily our external world (busy schedules, cluttered homes, endless obligations) and our internal world (mental to-do lists, worries, emotional labor that never clocks out) quietly crowd out what we want most: meaningful connection with our loved ones.
We’re not doing anything wrong. We’re just living in a culture that prioritizes productivity over presence — and then wonders why everyone feels burned out.
Why Connection Feels So Hard Right Now
Modern motherhood is loud. Notifications, calendars, expectations, and mental load all compete for our attention. Our homes can feel overstimulating. Our minds even more so — like twenty browser tabs open, all playing sound.
And when both our outer environment and our inner world are overflowing, connection becomes fragile. We multitask conversations. We half-listen. We rush moments that were meant to be savored… usually because we’re thinking about the next thing.
Ironically, the seasons meant to bring us closer — like the holidays — are often the ones that leave us feeling the most disconnected.
What Intentional Connection Actually Looks Like (No Perfection Required)
Connection doesn’t require a complete lifestyle overhaul. It’s built in small, very human moments. Especially during busy seasons, a little intention goes a long way.
Here are a few simple, realistic ways to reconnect with your loved ones when life feels full:
1. Shrink the moment.
Connection doesn’t need an entire free afternoon (who has one of those?). It can be five uninterrupted minutes, eye contact at the dinner table, or sitting on the couch without your phone while your child tells a long, winding story that definitely could’ve been shorter.
Connection doesn’t need an entire free afternoon (who has one of those?). It can be five uninterrupted minutes, eye contact at the dinner table, or sitting on the couch without your phone while your child tells a long, winding story that definitely could’ve been shorter.
2. Name the chaos.
Saying, “This season feels really busy — I miss you,” can instantly soften tension with a partner or loved one. You don’t have to fix the busyness to reconnect. You just have to acknowledge that it exists.
Saying, “This season feels really busy — I miss you,” can instantly soften tension with a partner or loved one. You don’t have to fix the busyness to reconnect. You just have to acknowledge that it exists.
3. Tidy the space, quiet the mind (just a little).
A cleared counter or a written brain dump can create surprising emotional space. Our external world and internal world are deeply connected — when one calms, the other often follows. No full house reset required.
A cleared counter or a written brain dump can create surprising emotional space. Our external world and internal world are deeply connected — when one calms, the other often follows. No full house reset required.
4. Lower the bar for ‘quality time.’
Connection doesn’t have to be deep conversations by candlelight. It can be laughing over takeout, folding laundry together, or sitting side-by-side doing separate things — but together. Cozy counts.
Connection doesn’t have to be deep conversations by candlelight. It can be laughing over takeout, folding laundry together, or sitting side-by-side doing separate things — but together. Cozy counts.
Why This Work Exists
This space was created to support moms in building intentional motherhood — lives that feel calmer, more connected, and more aligned with what actually matters. Not through doing more, but through gently doing things differently.
Here, we focus on:
- Reducing mental load
- Creating environments that support connection
- Strengthening emotional connection with yourself and others
- Navigating busy seasons without losing yourself (or your patience)
Because when moms feel connected, they feel better. And when moms feel better, everything else tends to fall into place — not perfectly, but more peacefully.
If this season has you craving more presence, more ease, and more real connection, you’re in the right place. Take a breath. You don’t need to overhaul your life — just begin with intention.
Connection is where the magic is — even (especially) when life is messy.
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